Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
