I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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