oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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