i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
This beer is not sobering me up at all
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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