This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
