I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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