Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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