you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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