Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
