He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
