ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
