We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
