We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
