Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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