Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
