like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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