I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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