I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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