Small penises have feelings too.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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