i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
