I'm jealous of your bromance
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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