grandma shit on top of the toilet
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
