Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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