my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
