i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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