Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
