just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
