butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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