I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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