Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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