i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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