lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
