I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
