So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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