it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
