Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
