It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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