I wish I could teleport
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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