Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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