with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
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Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
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I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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