Can i not drive my cunt home
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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