his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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