OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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