90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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