Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
