My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
