Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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