Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
