Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize