All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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