I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
