Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
