i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
