no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
pop tarts are not kleenex
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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