If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
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SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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