The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
