The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
