I'm going to jail i love you
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Randomize
