I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize