I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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