I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She announced her abortion via fbk
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize