did you get engaged???
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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