I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
