If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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