At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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