tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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