So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
