i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
