I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
