So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
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I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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